In the fall of 2015, I went to the KC Zoo with some friends who paid for the full Zoo ride experience. This experience included a boat, train, tram... and a sky tram. Audrey was with me and despite her years, she had opted for a stroller (an option that after this day, I never again gave her). She LOVED the idea of the sky tram and I loved the idea of ground beneath my feat. Don't get me wrong, I loved climbing trees as a kid, but the tree I climbed was low enough to the ground that if I went back to it today, I could touch our favorite branch. When I went to Europe, I breathed very deeply, determined to not let this fear keep me from an irreplaceable experience, and wobbled more than climbed my way up the cathedral spires in Geneva and Milan. I was the very last of my group to reach the bottom of a very steep flight of stairs to take a picture at the foot of a majestic waterfall in Brazil; my legs were jello and most of the way down I was convinced the fear would actually make me faint and fall down banging every single stone step.
That day at the zoo, I was determined not not let my fear of heights hinder Audrey's opportunities and nor was I going to let her know that I was terrified. As our feet dangled and I hung onto Audrey, the stroller and the handle of our compartment for dear life, I forced out ooohs and aaahs and drew Audreys attention to the giraffes and gazelles below. My smile wouldn't have held up against anyone's scrutiny, but luckily no one was really looking at me and Audrey still raves about how "awesome" it is to ride that sky tram.
Fear is something all stages of life deal with, and Audrey is indeed no stranger to fear. It can paralyze us, keep us from trying new things, keep us from unimaginable fun. Most of Audrey's fears, I have noticed, are of the future. She is worried people won't like her (I can't possibly imagine this). This Christmas, she cried during part of her musical because she was nervous and worried people would laugh at her (in all reality, she was stunning and took my breath away without ever saying a word besides singing with everyone else).
When dealing with these situations, especially with anxieties, I (as I'm sure you can tell simply by the content of this blog), turn to books. They are filled with non-threatening characters who can relate to your fears and you can watch them overcome! Two such books come to my mind when dealing with fear or anxiety:
1-- The Thing Lou Couldn't Do
By now you know my tendency. I lean towards the art. I always do. I am blessed to be part of a blogging community and get some of these books early. This book in particular won't be released until May 2017, but I do suggest a pre-order or at the very least adding it to your wish list. I'm not sure, but I do believe I have already reviewed a similar book (and if I didn't, I should have) called the Most Magnificent Thing. I couldn't resist snatching up this one when I saw it was available for review and it lives up to its predecessor.
As I mentioned, I love art, and the art in this one is much as you see here on the cover. It's simple, yet cute. It actually goes well with the story itself. It's not a great epic adventure, but that's kind of the point. Lou loved many things, but she (like me) was much more inclined to prefer adventures that did not involve heights. Her friends, however, take it upon themselves to climb a tree and she watches as their imaginations take them on adventures. What I particularly like about this story is that there is not as much pressure on taking the adventure you don't want to take. No one is making fun of anyone (so it's not a book that, like some, bully you into facing your fears so that you won't be made fun of). She simply observes that while her friends are not intentionally leaving her out, they are obviously having loads of fun.
SPOILER ALERT: I really wasn't sure what I initially thought of the ending. She attempts and fails to climb the tree and ends up running off and doing something with the rest of her friends. I don't usually like to give away endings, but this was, after I thought about it, a very clever ending. She tried. Rarely is anyone successful at anything on their first try. Yet she's inspired, she tries. And her failure is not a focus nor is it a big deal. We are left with a pretty good feeling that she's going to keep trying. That, in my opinion, is quite the true inspiration that will keep kids trying over and over again.
I may have talked about this book before, but it's worth revisiting. The text in this book is just phenomenal. The "Whatif Monster" has a lot of those questions that kids always ask, basically asking, "What if I stumble, what if I fall?" (Do you remember that song?)
And then the questions begin to come, well, "What if I don't slip?" What if I'm a great success? What if I make a new friend? The book takes a common negative line of questioning and uses that same framework to set up a positive way to think. What if we thought about all the great things that could happen?
I will say, I only wish the art were more... I guess I should say "my style." It's not. I'm not a fan at all of the cover and would never have picked it up if I hadn't seen a video of someone reading it. That said, I bet most kids wouldn't have my critical eye and I say, get past the cover and this book becomes an incredible life skills tool that is well worth visiting and re-visiting.
At the end of the day, I don't push it. We all have fears. But I do hope that I act as an inspiration to Audrey to be adventurous. One of the things I hope she will be is adventurously compassionate. Our inspiration, more than these books, comes back to the passage in 1 John describing God as love, perfect love, and that perfect love "drives out fear." How perfectly do I love my daughter? How perfectly CAN I love my daughter?
I am back to blogging and plan on reviewing lots of super fun things in the coming days. Keep an eye out here for our December devotional coloring book review (I'm addicted and may need to get more of the same to last the whole year), and also for a full review of our new favorite Disney princess, Moana.
Disclosure: I recieved The Thing Lou Couldn't Do from NetGalley in return for writing a review. This post contains affiliate links, which means I may receive a percentage of each sale when you make a purchase using these links or that I received this product in return for the review ; however, I fully support and recommend each of these products. You can view my full disclosure policy here.