This is going to be a fun one :) Cesar’s away (not fun), and Audrey’s cranky because Daddy’s not here, but I’ve been taking advantage of her nap time to do some preparing for the sermon I’m preaching on Sunday (that’s right! I’m already preaching!). First, I wish I was preaching this one in English. 1 Peter 1:1-10 has so many words that claim a preacher’s responsibility that this cannot be a short one, but I guess that’s why it’s good we’re in Brazil– long sermons are the “holy” ones here. hehe. So that’s been neat, but I’ve also realized that I am not without the book I thought I’d lost when my Nook broke and Cesar sold my iPhone! Thank God for Nook for PC! So I started reading Great Parents, Lousy Lovers and it’s got me motivated. Sometimes relationship books get me depressed on everything that our relationship isn’t and how much of a struggle it is, but I’ve just finished a chapter that may change everything– DREAMING! That’s what it said! It said keep dreaming, because basically as long as we dream with our spouse the dreams may or may not come true, but anticipation, adventure, excitement remains alive in a relationship. And I’ve found that to be true. Usually when Cesar goes to the farm I get negative and think of all the reasons he should be here and not there and how he’s abandoned me without this or that, but this time before he left we sat and just talked about what we would do when he got his visa. I said we’d all three take a trip to Florianopolis. When we get back to the States, we’ll plan yearly (or bi-yearly, depending on financial situations) vacations. We’ll pay off debts completely before five years (there’s my biggest dream– talk about freedom)! I dream of hanging pictures in a place I’m going to live for a full year. I’ll dress Audrey in her chic hand-me-downs so that she can look like a snow princess. Audrey will learn 10 languages and be our translator. I’ll go on a cruise. Some church will decide that we’re finally prepared to do missions for them and send us on our first assignment. That’s something I can’t wait to talk to Cesar about. I keep thinking about his preparation. How will he be best prepared and what country will we be sent from? I think it would be valuable for him to get his training in a Brazilian environment so that his understanding could be broader (even if he becomes fluent in English, I find that I learn better in a classroom if it’s an English setting). How will that work with us not being able to leave the USA for longer than 6 months at a time? What are ways we could build our preparation and ministry where we our? And how do we do it unitedly? The last question has been a big struggle. When I worked at the GMC, I felt already involved in ministry. Because of my preparation, people often call on my intercultural or linguistic knowledge. Cesar, however, has the pressure of having to support us financial and pay my debts. Yes, I feel that pressure as well, especially in administrating the business, but for him it translates into hours and hours of hard labor and work work work. Sometimes that means that even though people call him left and right to preach or take part in things, his answer is often, Amber will take my place. Amber will preach, Amber will be there. True, and I even like the extra opportunities on top of what I already have. But when I’m settling down at the end of the day, I feel off-balance. I’m gaining opportunities, but he’s losing them. And it affects us. So… dreaming, huh? I can’t wait to dream more!