So the past few days have been very very up and down. I’ll start with the down so that we can end on a positive note. The down, in a nutshell, is this– a nuclear family (wife, husband, children) should NOT live with in-laws. It is just not healthy at all. Cesar and I have struggled with this from the beginning, but these past few days I can’t walk into the main part of the house without his mom saying I should be feeding Audrey a certain way, dressing her a certain way, washing my clothes with more soap, brand of soap. I feel like she’s testing me and constantly giving me the failing grade. Except that I’m very satified with what I’m doing. My bathroom is clean, my room remains organized (today she eve came into our room while I was washing the floors, something we have to do EVERY day, and said that I should wash the floors with my sandals on or I could get electricuted! What?)! I miss feeding Audrey my way, and my way is not possible in this house where I have no money to spend on my own groceries, so I have to eat what we have, but it’s not the nutrition I ideally would want for Audrey. My mother-in-law today got after me for feeding Audrey granola for breakfast, but from what doctors have always said to me, is it’s a good idea to get kids started in healthy habits. Why would I stuff her with rice, potatoes, basically mass and not with actual nutrition? Ever since she was born, I’ve been more conscientious about what I eat and about what I give to her. Is she on a strict diet? Not at all. She eats at least one or two ice creams or sweet things a day. But I miss those days where we had a creamy pasta with chicken and broccoli for lunch and the Brazilian rice, beans and meat for dinner. We were on such a great track, and she did great with veggies, but now, when I don’t have the options nor the liberty to buy my own groceries, how can I make sure Audrey gets everything she needs to be the most healthy she can be? I’m saying all of this because it’s a discussion I have everyday with Cesar’s mom, who just can’t seem to accept that I believe I am not only feeding her correctly for now, but that I feel like I am teaching (or trying to, anyway)her a way to lead a healthy life based on what doctors have suggested, Parenting magazines, parenting books, biology classes, health classes, and my own experiences. Is it possible to live on rice and beans alone? One thing that has frustrated me more and more is that I feel like everything centers around money here. Even the church has a big bent towards insinuating that large generosity leads to large financial blessings. Every converssation is about how to make more money, more ways to add to profit. Not that money should be ignored, but since when is that good conversation? What about talking about families and things that matter so much more than how much we can possibly stuff in our pockets? Can we please, for once, take me back to college conversations when we talked about international travel, social justice, what God is doing on a deeper level, God’s bigness, plan things that can build us up (because I honestly think that basing all conversation on finances is the surest way to insecurity). That said, Okay, so, that over with, I have been doing everything to be out of the house and more involved in church, which has worked out great seeing as this past week was a celebration week and had kind of like a fair type of setting every day. I insisted on going whenever I could, and sometimes walked from our house to the church (not short, but not long… for those familiar with Olivet, think as if you were walking from the soccer fields to Jewel or Family Video… something like that). There has been some people from the church who have instantly taken an interest in Cesar’s and my involvement in the church, one guy in particular who took me to meet his family, we drank Chimarrao (i.e. Mate, for those more familiar with the Argentine equivalent and, may I add, I need to buy and learn to prepare it quickly because it worked miracles on my 5-day stomach issues which keep returning).Yesterday this guy, Julio, invited Cesar, Audrey and I to BBQ (Brazilian style, of course, though I’ve told them I’m ready and willing to introduce them to the American version) at his house with his family and several invites. It turned into an all-out Christian party, which included two pastors. For those who have not seen me opening up to the supernatural side of life, be prepared. It’s very real here and I’ve had several people, most who barely knew me (if at all– there was one pastor who did this over the phone without me saying so much as my name) who have spoken similar if not identical prophecies (or at the minimum, prayers) over my life in particular. All (and I’m not joking when I say ALL) have said that we (as a family) would travel to many countries, and many have said that my ministry is bigger than I have been imagining (I tend to think of myself on a smaller, more intimate scale, doing more behind-the-scenes stuff… though I suppose communication and networking, which tend to be my strengths, do reach a large scale even if they do start in intimate settings. They’ve said a variety of other things, but I think I’ll save them in my heart until I feel more confirmation. In other news, I’ve seen Cesar’s ex-wife several times this week as well. She’s in town for the church events happening here, and I really feel like we’d be friends if it weren’t for her history with Cesar. I mean, I suppose in a sense we are friendly and I would love to hang out with her, but it seems like it would be distrespectful of Cesar’s past to do so. She may have done a lot of things wrong in the past, but I don’t feel like she’s that person who cheated on Cesar anymore. Not that I would ever dream of their reconciliation (because that’s just not cool at all), but I feel like life with her near or far is no different for us than it would be if they’d never even had a relationship. I know, people think I’m weird here too. But what should I have against her, really? I have Cesar. I have Cesar because she let him go. So…. is there any reason things should be weird? In any case, that’s where we are. I think Cesar may be preaching this Sunday, though I’m not positive… maybe not because he mentioned going to the farm… though I hope he doesn’t leave me taking over his spot at the last minute, even if I do have 3 messages at the back of my mind. There’s been mention of me singing in the church some, especially for international things, for me to sing English. We touched on maybe making an English ministry in the area. Though I haven’t met a single person in this region who speaks English, they say the mining companies in the area have a lot of Canadians, so…. not sure that the time we project to be in Brazil is sufficient for that. I can’t wait to be free. Free to go back and forth. Take a class here, take a class there. I wonder if my reading on relationships might be useful and/or be a part of my ministry. I’ve thought about taking some counseling classes, but I wonder if there’s training through Gary Smalley’s group in Missouri to do basic seminars. I think it’s something that would be very very useful in the international communities, which perhaps do not have many people who specifically focus on restoring families and maintaining relationships.