The great new (I know, title says good, but I decided it’s really great) is I just found friends. I mean like friends who are girls my own age. I feel like Sister Bear when Lizzy Brewer was moving in next door (though I guess technically I would be the Lizzy Brewer, and there’s no argument)! Last night I just stopped by casually at a hotel owned by a guy from the church, Oswaldo, and for reference, we’ll call him Chimarrao Man every time you need to recall that they’re the same person. Anyway, it was just to get his daughter’s contact info because I might make a site for his hotel, but his daughter, as it turned out, was going to come by soon and he was getting ready to make Chimarrao (also known as mate, pronounced mah-tae or shim-ah-hao). I’d been wanting to learn to make a serious chimarrao for forever, and he makes the best I’ve ever tasted, so I decided to stick around. He taught me, and I’m just going to say, why do people make it so complicate. The best chimarrao ever is the easiest to prepare and just so yummy all day long (I’ve been sipping mine since breakfast, and it’s almost dinner time… it also keeps my stomach in good order, which is excellent because yesterday I had diarrhea all day– not cool). So… his daughter came with a friend, and I also met another girl who is staying at the hotel (who spent 5 years in Canada and speaks decent English). Anyway, the conversation lasted for hours and I simply loved it. It’s been a long time since I’ve had a conversation that felt so reviving, and I was certainly thirsty for one. By the end of the hours of conversation, it was established that we’d hang out the next day (being today, in about 30 min.), and that we’d start a kind of small group that’s an exchange of cultures, ideas, language-learning, hanging out, and good Christian fun. Do you know how long I’ve waited for a Brazucas em Chicago replacement? Could this be it???? There’s also apparently a guy somewhere here who lived in England and Germany for so long he’s struggling a bit to adapt back to Brazil. I think it’ll be fun for me to speak English (and maybe some German) with him, and for Cesar too!
Speaking of Cesar, on a side note, I wrote a love note to him from me, and one from Audrey too. I’m excited to where it might lead if I can keep up a more positive attitude and focus on improving our marriage rather than trying to change situations out of our control. So I’m reading a book called The Marriage Code. I’d downloaded it while still in the States back in Feb. I think, but I just finish Great Parents, Lousy Lovers (and am considering re-reading that when I’m done this one). Both GREAT books– I highly recommend anything by Gary Smalley, and I’m liking the practicality and ideas coming from the Marriage Code.
Now, news news. I didn’t want to say bad news so as not to freak anyone out, but it’s more just another frustration. It’s getting increasingly harder to be here, and I don’t know exactly how to document the reasons why. I am starting to feel more pressure from Cesar’s mom, who has already come out and said that I’m not raising Audrey “right.” If I were a fighting person, those would have been fighting words. I tried rational explanation, but finally realized that the age-old silence method was going to have to be the way to go or my rational logic could start to turn into less rational and more demeaning words. I don’t want to create an environment between us we can’t come back from, and I’m constantly telling myself this is temporary. This is temporary. Can somebody else tell me that too (and mean it)? Both my mother-in-law and now my sister-in-law (Cesar’s brother’s “wife”) not only look at me, but now talk to and about me as if I am completely incapable of productivity. Even the large steps in doing my own laundry regressed a bit today simply because I asked about leaving some clothes in fabric softener over night (and suddenly my mother-in-law was re-hanging my towels). Said sister-in-law is constantly complaining, and I’m not exagerrating when I say she talks a lot but not a positive phrase comes out of her mouth. The talk here (in this house, I’m not talking about here in general) is money and suffering. How much money could/should I make and who suffers the most. Sometime I feel like there’s a running competition as to who can prove they sacrifice the most. Beyond that, I feel that Cesar’s mom encourages the thought in his head that he won’t get a visa, and if he does, it’s only in a matter of years. Not a day goes by that she doesn’t pressure me to try to get a job with an international mining company here, or make some comment insinuating that this process won’t succeed. I realize she rarely has any clue what she’s talking about, but whether Cesar admits it or not, it’s hard to believe in the best when the worst is constantly thrown in your face, even if the “worst” is irrational. So I’m taking back my marriage to hopefully take back our faith. I’m not going to let us fall. God is in control, and if he wants something to happen, and if we let it, it’s going to happen, no matter who is speaking against us. I’d like to ask/encourage you all to speak positive words and prayers over our process. Please bring us up in your prayer groups and help us to speak realistic positivity into our lives and into this process.
Thank you all for your amazing prayers and support. I may not get to hear from you often, but I appreciate when I do.