I admit I have been dragging my feet a bit. I am not a fan of writing reviews for things that I find to be mediocre because I love talking about the things I love, and I LOVE family and marriage books. I admit that I chose to read the following books. I also will admit that there is valuable information in each of them. So lets start with the positive! This is not necessarily a comparison of the two books, but they have enough in common that I thought it was worth putting in the same review.
Pros: Both of these books are written by authors who are very knowledgeable about their topics.
Crazy Little thing Called Marriage : The Smalley family especially has made several positive appearances in my book collection as well as in reviews (particularly Greg Smalley's father, Gary Smalley), and so I especially anticipated the book with an exciting title. Quite honestly, I will probably be re-reading this book with renewed motivation in the near future not only because of the authors' credentials, but because I have a renewed need to soak in the wisdom contained in this book. As the Smalleys relate, there are two formulas that appear "counter-intuitive" and the foundation for many of our most intimate memories probably stems from a time of friction or crisis. Why is marriage crazy? It's crazy because when you ignore the fight or flight natural response, when you stick through it to find a mutual resolution, when you "Fight for Peace", your relationship can grow exponentially. Marriages will never have a shortage of crises or conflicts, but learning to get through them together is what makes this book an essential. Finally, one of the most important things I gleaned and one of the most helpful is the need for fellowship. As individuals we were not made to grow alone nor were we meant to live in isolation. In the same way (no matter how different your marriage may be) no marriage was meant for isolation. There's nothing in God's word to support isolation. We need others and as the last chapter is titled, "True Love Seeks Fellowship." Now, I will admit my bias and say that I am an extrovert and have been looking for excuses to connect. But whether or not you share my personality quirks, an isolated marriage is rarely a good one. That said, if I write much more, you might feel you've learned enough. I'll leave the rest to the Smalleys. ;)
Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World : I can see many of my friends and family adhering to the principles in this book. It calls for a fairly structured and disciplined discipline of raising children. The information is practical and speaks to many areas of life, and speaks to a method and mindset that is popular in conservative parenting circles.
Cons: Why did I group these two books together? Quite frankly, I initially had little to say about either of them and thought the review would be less positive and I like to keep positive reviews the highlights of this blog. However, as I went back and reviewed my notes on Crazy Little Thing Called Marriage, I realized that in the changes and ups and downs of life, I appreciate it exponentially more at this moment than I did when I first picked it up. The Raising Grateful Kids Book, however, did not end of being the same experience.
Crazy Little thing Called Marriage : The true con to this book is that initially it was not as exciting as I'd hoped. I wanted a crazy motivator to hype up my marriage in an exciting way and, well, the beginning was not that exciting. It took me a long time to want to pick up the book and took some discipline to keep reading. Ironically, it was psychological. If you're tempted to put it down, push through. It gets better and the information is extremely worth the time.
Raising Grateful Kids in an Entitled World : Frankly, this was not my favorite book. There is the theme behind my motivation for reading both of these books and my reaction to them and that theme is expectations. In the Crazy Little Thing, I was finally willing to overcome the expectations and still get a lot out of it. In this book, it just doesn't speak to our context. It's not because we don't want to raise a grateful child, but more because it looks differently in our family. Books about child-rearing are difficult in that different children have different personalities and respond differently to different stimulae. Parents also have many different parenting methods and have individually different personalities as well. Much of this books deals with parents lacking limitation and discipline in their context, which is probably primarily North American suburban. Are we in North America? Yes. Are there valid points in this book based on that cultural context and attached assumptions? Absolutely.. But I found the text to be weighted by negative assumptions and speaking to very broad generalizations. I am not of the opinion that technology is taking over our society for the worst. I believe we have been given tools that we need to learn to use responsibly. I was surprised that the book did not particularly focus on an international perspective and how one might give your child a global perspective of poverty, which (if I were writing this book) would have been my primary focus. In summary, this book speaks little to our context and familial situation, but may be useful in others.
The perspective of this blog will always be that of a mom in a multi-cultural environment. My opinions are my own and I would encourage you to read other reviews before deciding to cross any of these books off your list. I have many friends who parent in vastly different styles, but we also have children with different family backgrounds, different personalities, marriages that come from endless varieties of influences. These books were provided to me in exchange for my honest review by Tyndale Publishing.